Bismillah ar-rahman ar-rahim.
I'm someone, someone who is trying to change n i want to change myself towards goodness. bein hampered by a lot of obstacles n devil's whispers, i'm still trying hard to change, inshaAllah.
while goin thro e process, i realize smthg, smthg tht is always bein taught n emphasized in Islam, 'promote goodness n prevent evil'...unfortunately, i became a weak servant of Allah, a very weak one that can't stop anyone from doin evil n afraid of asking ppl to join goodness. i'm very much weak that i can't even say a word protesting it.
O Allah, i am a very weak servant of Yours. i'm hating n hating it truly but not doin much in changing it. I thought i was strong but i was very wrong ya Rabb. my iman is in its lowest form ya Allah. i'm helpless, i'm helpless...
Sometimes, i feel i am so selfish trying to change myself while leaving others behind with their misbehaviors. at that moment, i feel so sad n start to imagine what if one of my beloved was e one i left behind. na'uzubillah.. but, actually i'm a coward person who is scared to admonish someone.
While reciting e Quran, a verse came across;
30. One Day We will ask Hell,
"Are you filled to the full?"
It will say,
"Are there anymore (to come)?"
If the capacity of the Reward is unlimited,
so is the capacity of the punishment.
Sometimes people make jokes about heaven and hell due to their
non-serious attitude and say things like, “if the majority is going to be punished then how are they going to fit in?” Allah is telling us
here that it is so tremendously huge that it will keep on asking for
more, like a live monster.
my tears started to flow, what if one of those who i left behind face this?? or what if i myself face it?? na'uzubillah.
i know, i know that only Allah has the Power to give guidance to whom HE wish. but, as HIS servant, i've to play my part too. i don't know where am i leading with my this attitude, questioning myself, am i a selfish or coward. wallahu 'alam....