PLEASE DON'T FORCE ME!!!!

 i came across these verses from Holy Quran


"If ye did well, ye did well for yourselves; if ye did evil, (ye did it) against yourselves. "(quote from sura isra', verse 7)



13. Every man's fate We have fastened on his own neck: On the Day of Judgment We shall bring out for him a scroll, which he will see spread open.
14. (It will be said to him:) "Read thine (own) record: Sufficient is thy soul this day to make out an account against thee."
15. Who receiveth guidance, receiveth it for his own benefit: who goeth astray doth so to his own loss: No bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another: nor would We visit with Our Wrath until We had sent an apostle (to give warning).
(sura isra')

 it hits me right onto my heart.
i do not want to do it. at first, when i ws told do it, it didn't make me feel so much guilty as i ws in a conditon surrounded by prblms. but, when thgs back to normal, i strt to think. am i doin e right thg?? n when i justify it to myself, i feel myself is very "despicable" (i know it is a very strong n harsh word, but i don't know how else to say how i feel it). am i myself, or i've turn to someone who is willing to do bad thgs in a desperate condition??? noooo, plsss don't force me to do those thgs against my willing, against my teaching!!! i want to live in an honest way, even if it's not a big deal in e eyes of others.

ya Allah, please guide me, don't let me astray. give me the strength to say NO, give me the strength to hold my stand. n if bad time befalls upon me where i have to do it somehow, please help me to do the best so that i know, i actually deserve to have a *** even w/out doin it.