Be the one in a million

Be the one in a million

Monday, March 28, 2011

LoVe is RIDICULOUS!!! ">lovers, stop abusing those who are not in LoVe<"

felt so embarrassed, my GOD,  only YOU know how was my feeling at tht moment !!!! why me??? i don't mind being self-embarrassed, but seriously i hate when i felt embarrassed because of someone else doing, who has nothing to do w my life !!!
u see, this boy-girl love/affection/infatuation, is totally ridiculous n make foolish of themselves n other people as well. u guys wanna make foolish of urself, go ahead, none goin  to stop u, but why u chose me to be e foolish one as well???? can't u guys see how indecisive r u when u fall into ur "LoVeLaNd"??? u can't even make ur stand strong. when u wanted so much not to do that, stand strong w ur decision dude !!! what i'm wondering here, after ur so-called lover wants you to do that, u changed your mind right away (that's what called as a pure love i guess, but sorry, i can't appreciate it) n willing to do it regardless of what ws ur decision before.
okay2, still, this is none of my business, i don't give a damn how ur love story goes, whatevr it is, it's not gonna affect my life. BUT !!!!!! here is a BUT, WHY U GT ME INVOLVED INTO IT???? i was bein a free-bird, flying peacefully w/out ruining anyone's living. n out of sudden, u caught me n threw me into an embarrassment trap !!!

mashaALLAH, astaghfirullah...... at last, i became e clown !!! ya Allah, sharam hoga, sobhi jane ka surath dekhena na wo waqt mein.. mera naam joker ka kahani sarka hoga!!! jeena yaha, marna yaha, tere seeva, jaana kaha ;(  
noooooooo !!! i do have lots of other options n i'm not gonna stay in that trap forever.

i will love (in a halal way) someone one day, inshaAllah, though i will never ask a 3rd person to be the "sacrificing goat" just to achieve e wish of my love!!

reminders fr myself:
>don't be selfish. never cause others to feel awkward for ur own benefit.
>be yourself. don't change ur decision for unnecessary reason, or bcs others said so.
>finally, LET IT BE. don't worry too much as everyone surely has forgotten e moment u gt embarrassed bcs it not a big matter for 'em.

peace =)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Each soul has its Given Date, When it must leave its body's core, And meet with its Eternal Fate.


after hearing to e that news, i was shocked. death is something natural. all living things will face it one day.
but still, some couldn't accept it at once. so was i when my sister called me informing that little boy who is just 15 years old passed away in an accident. Innalillah wa innaillahi raji'un. a jolly-type boy, very friendly n intelligent. his family hoping a bright n a successful  future for him. Allah knows better. his mother wasn't informed of e news yet. i can't imagine how would it be for a mother to hear e news, how her heart will be broken into pieces knowing her beloved one has left her. ya Allah, give her n his family full strength to accept it. my sister then told me, life will just be taken away like that when the time has arrived. i was stunned. started to think n think. tears flowed, how would be the last moment of his death, what would be he thinking at that point, may Allah shower blessings onto his soul and place him among the righteous people, amen.
after reciting yaasin n tahlil for almarhum, i went to my study-table. my countdown board shows 63 days to go for professional exam. a q crossed my mind, what if I die within that period?? thats it!! life ends in this temporary world!! anatomy won't come into help when Angel Izrael wants to take my soul.. nobody knows what will happen..but e q here is, am i ready to face e death?? i don't know.

Saturday, March 12, 2011


Death knocked on a bedroom door.                  

"Who's there?" the sleeping one cried.

"I'm Angel Izrael, let me inside."

At once the man begin to shiver,
as one sweating in deadly fever.

He shouted to his wife,
"Don't let the Angel take my life."

"O Angel of Death,
I'm not ready yet.
My family on me depend,
give me a chance to go back and mend."

The Angel knocked again.

"O man, it's your soul that I require,
I come not with my own desire."

Bewildered, the man begin to cry:
"O Angel, I'm so afraid to die."

"Let me remain here as your slave,
don't send me to the grave."

"Let me in, O man," the Angel said
"Open the door, get up from your bed,
You can't stop me from coming in,
Angels can go through objects, thick and thin."

The man held a gun in his right hand,
ready to defy the Angel's stand.

"I'll point my gun towards your head,
You dare come in - I'll shoot you dead."

By now, the Angel was in the room,
Saying, "O man, prepare for your doom,
foolish man - Angels never die,
put down your gun and do not sigh.
Why are you afraid - Tell me O man -
to die according to Allah's plan?"

"O Angel, I bow my head in shame,
I had no time to remember Allah's name.
From dawn till dusk, I made my wealth,
not even caring my spiritual health.
Allah's command I never obeyed,
nor five times a day I ever prayed.
A Ramadan came and a Ramadan went,
But no time had I to repent.
The Hajj was already obligatory upon me,
but I would not part with my money.
All charities I did ignore,
taking usury more and more.
Sometimes I sipped my favorite wine,
with flirting women I sat to dine.

O Angel I appeal to you,
spare my life a year or two.
The Laws of Qur'an, I will obey,
I'll begin to Solat - very day.
My fast and Hajj i will complete,
and keep away from self-conceit.
I will refrain from usury
and give all my wealth to charity.
Wine and unlawful women, I will detest,
Allah's Oneness I will attest."

"We Angels do what Allah demands,
we cannot go against His commands.
Death is ordained for everyone -
father, mother, daughter and son.
I'm afraid, this moment is your last,
now be reminded of your past.
I do understand your fears
but it is now TOO LATE FOR TEARS

You lived in this world, two score
or more,
Your parents you did not obey,
hungry beggars, you turned away.
Your two ill-mannered, female offspring,
in nightclubs, for livelihood they sing.
Instead of making more Muslims,
you made your children non-Muslims.
You ignored the Azan,
nor did you recite the Holy Qur'an.
Breaking promises all your life,
backbitting friends and causing strife.
From hoarded goods, great profitss you made,
and poor workers - you underpaid.
Horses and cards were your leisure,
money-making was your pleasure.
You ate and ate and grew more fat,
with the very sick you never sat.
A little donation you never gave,
that could a little baby save.
You thought you're clever and strong,
but O man, you've done enough wrong.
Paradise for you? I cannot tell,
the disbeliever will dwell in hell.
There is no time for you to repent,
I'll take your soul for which I am sent"

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


priceless gifts!!
today, another calendar sheet of 7th march returns. as e clock struck 12 a.m., texts overflowed my inbox from my frens n colleagues. so many nice wishes touched my heart. in the morning during class, a colleague of mine spreading the news of my birthday. ya Allah, only i knew how ashamed was i tht time. but, won't blame her bcs i did it e same thg to her last week. n came another embarrassing point, when e class rep announced a guy's bday, all these girls "rebelliously yelled" ain haja!!! OMG!! i was like, owhhhh plssssss don't do that!!! hahahaha...
every1 started to wish me after that, it was actually awkward to hear/read e wishes.haha.weird na??? some come out w creative paper-works which were really nice.
n some (those colleagues who r quite close to me) were like feeling so guilty for not remembering my DOB, n was trying to cover it up by cheering me up w smthg else. each with their own style just to celebrate me. n some were not wishing me at all, those i guess who supposed to wish me, anyway, i don't bother it very much bcs may be they knew i don't prefer people wishing me (at least they should wish as a courtesy na, hehe, nvm).
whoaaww, wait, another one, e texts from e guys were unexpected!! brothers (some) from my "pbl family", they are too good. their wishes r sweet, haha... even my own brother didn't wish me, but my so-called pbl brothers did!! hahaha.. joke!!
uhmmmm, that was my day today. embarrassing plus happy for having these circle of frens. thank you so much my dear FRIENDS!!!!!! really appreciating u guys!!!

when i was a kid, i was very excited each time my birthday comes. waiting for people to wish, gifts, mother's special dish for me, father's money-gift etc.
but as time passes, n as i grew adult, i feel so embarrassed whenever my birthday comes. i have this feeling of self-inferiority.
y is it so?? i can see many unsolved things scattered in front of me. as age increasing, my maturity is growing, my problems are worsening, but sadly none of them are solved. what i've achieved for the past 21 years?? how about my good deeds, are they increasing as well or the other way round?? i'm scared ya Allah.. with this kinda of life, i don't see my birthday (a day which reminds me that life is too short to wait) as somethg exciting.
when was thinking abt it, i opened my email, n saw a msg. that msg put me into tears, i didn't expect that from someone with that much of Islamic  knowledge, damn! i can't stop crying thinking of it. i'm afraid if this thing affect my future life. my respect twrds tht person flew in e air just like tht!!!
i reflected myself, did i made any mistake tht made that person to ask such question twrds me?? what i've to do now?? i feel like i've done a lot of sins. ya Allah, forgive me for all my sins i've done intentionally or unintentionally.
so, i don't think birthday should be HAPPY for me, it should BEWARE instead!! so, i hope i can get BEWARE BIRTHDAY wishes in my coming years, hahahaha.. n inshaAllah, if i am still alive.

(p/s: special thanks to ; raheela, hidayah muttalib, nadiah sulaiman, shahira, sarah, zawani, izzati, kak ain, nadya sufiya, azreena, diana, kak bi, adilah, hanis rani, kak ji, husna, syuha, naurah, fida, mimah, syuha, asma, ja, kak nad, kak ja, shafinaz, hasna, syahrain, faridah, hidayati)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


i was so shocked!!!!! 
how come one could daringly say that in front of all others????
i usually jot down my stories on this page. 
but this time, it is just to make a note that this kinda of people exist in this environment where virtues and goodness are very much promoted. 
i wanna remember this incident, i wanna it to be embedded in my memory so that whenever i come across this post, i can reflect it to myself and remind myself that sincere repentance is very important.

this is e analogy of e story:
"one day, a doctor who is a HO has made a medical error. this mistake did cause harm to the patient but not to life-threatening extent. feeling unsafe and uncomfortable with that HO, this patient reported the incident to the senior doctor. then, this senior doctor call upon that HO and advised the HO." .....(to be continued)

so, rationally, logically and as a muslim, or even as a human, what should the HO do to rectify the mistake?
yea, of course the HO should seek an apology from the patient besides feeling regret for what happened. but.....

(story continues)....
"instead of saying sorry, the HO said to the patient that getting scold from the superior is fine but the HO is very upset with him (the patient). and even worse, the HO threat the patient for telling the truth."

astaghfirullah al-'azim.......... what is happening???? why are human becoming so mean nowadays?? why are the good person being oppressed??? when will the light of Allah will reach to the heart of these ignorant people??? i don't want to be that kinda doctor!!! 
i hope something will change, inshaAllah that HO will realize those mistakes one day and become a safe muslim doctor.