Be the one in a million

Be the one in a million

Sunday, October 16, 2011

yesterday, today and tomorrow

bismillah ar-rahman ar-rahim
in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

three days ago, i met one of my dearest colleague, we were sharing our experiences in the wards. she told me that she met a cancer patient, and she was asking herself this question "will i cry if one day, doctor informs me that i've cancer". she raised that kinda question because she thinks that she might not be crying as she'll always hear the term cancer throughout her career. so, she might be desensitized with it and will develop immunity, thus feelings might diminish. how far it is true??

her question reminded me of my professor, who is also suffering from cancer. i've no idea how my professor feels, but i'm sure deep in his heart, there is this feeling of sorrow, for doctors are human too.
two days back, i watched 180, a tamil movie which portrays about a doctor who has a terminal stage of pancreatic cancer n his chief doctor gave him 6 months of time. the story shows how he would go through his rest of life. an interesting story line which i think can be applicable for my colleague's question.

i would like to share a poem here, which i think suits the story.
                  "Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday
                   And today was such a lovely day,
                   That I wondered why I worried about today yesterday
                   So today I am not going to worry about tomorrow
                   There may not be a tomorrow anyway.                                        

                   So today I am going to live as if there is no tomorrow,
                   And I am going to forget about yesterday.
                   Today is the tomorrow I planned yesterday
                   And nearly all my plans for today did not plan out the way I
                                thought they would yesterday.

                   So today I am forgetting about tomorrow and I will plan for today
                   But not too strenuously
                   Today I will stop to smell a rose
                   I will tell a loved one how much I love her
                   I will stop planning for tomorrow and plan to make today the best
                                 day of my life.

                   Today is the tomorrow I was afraid of yesterday
                   And today was nothing to be afraid of.
                   So today I will banish the fear of unknown
                   I will embrace the unknown as a learning experience full of exciting
                   Today, unlike yesterday, I will not fear tomorrow.
                   Today is the tomorrow I dreamed about yesterday
                   And some of the dreams I dreamt yesterday came true today
                   So today I am going to continue dreaming about tomorrow
                   And perhaps more of the dreams I dream today will come true

                   Today is the tomorrow I set goals for yesterday
                   And I reached some of those goals today
                   So today I am going to set slightly higher goals for today and
                   And if tomorrow turns out to be like today I will certainly reach all
                                my goals one day!"
yeah, of course we as Muslims have lots of other aspects that can be covered. people always say that cancer is a blessing in disguise. so, Allah is giving us time and chances to repent and top up our charity works  as well as our ibadah.
may Allah bless all of us in facing calamities. amen.

Friday, October 7, 2011

life was never easy

bismillah ar-rahman ar-rahim

3 weeks passed in paediatric wards, i'm still perplexed. n now i really understand what life is actually. i am starting to laugh at myself, i thought i've been through so many things in my life, but after seeing what those kids going through, i think i better stop complaining about e distresses of my life which are way simple than theirs'.
i just can't understand myself, why my eyes were teary after observing e tiny boy in e procedure room, why i left e room without completing my observation, why can't i take a full history from e caregiver esp a mother, why do i always feel that i'm keep irritating 'em whenever i approach 'em for a hx taking or PE, why i feel that my presence there is not going to help them in anyway but annoying 'em instead............ all these feelings are making my job miserable. despite of being advised by doctors n colleagues, i still can't let off these feelings.
uhmmm, let's see how things go on by time...........................................