WHAT IS WITH THIS BIRTHDAY THINGY???

priceless gifts!!

today, another calendar sheet of 7th march returns. as e clock struck 12 a.m., texts overflowed my inbox from my frens n colleagues. so many nice wishes touched my heart. in the morning during class, a colleague of mine spreading the news of my birthday. ya Allah, only i knew how ashamed was i tht time. but, won't blame her bcs i did it e same thg to her last week. n came another embarrassing point, when e class rep announced a guy's bday, all these girls "rebelliously yelled" ain haja!!! OMG!! i was like, owhhhh plssssss don't do that!!! hahahaha...
every1 started to wish me after that, it was actually awkward to hear/read e wishes.haha.weird na??? some come out w creative paper-works which were really nice.
n some (those colleagues who r quite close to me) were like feeling so guilty for not remembering my DOB, n was trying to cover it up by cheering me up w smthg else. each with their own style just to celebrate me. n some were not wishing me at all, those i guess who supposed to wish me, anyway, i don't bother it very much bcs may be they knew i don't prefer people wishing me (at least they should wish as a courtesy na, hehe, nvm).
whoaaww, wait, another one, e texts from e guys were unexpected!! brothers (some) from my "pbl family", they are too good. their wishes r sweet, haha... even my own brother didn't wish me, but my so-called pbl brothers did!! hahaha.. joke!!
uhmmmm, that was my day today. embarrassing plus happy for having these circle of frens. thank you so much my dear FRIENDS!!!!!! really appreciating u guys!!!

when i was a kid, i was very excited each time my birthday comes. waiting for people to wish, gifts, mother's special dish for me, father's money-gift etc.
but as time passes, n as i grew adult, i feel so embarrassed whenever my birthday comes. i have this feeling of self-inferiority.
y is it so?? i can see many unsolved things scattered in front of me. as age increasing, my maturity is growing, my problems are worsening, but sadly none of them are solved. what i've achieved for the past 21 years?? how about my good deeds, are they increasing as well or the other way round?? i'm scared ya Allah.. with this kinda of life, i don't see my birthday (a day which reminds me that life is too short to wait) as somethg exciting.
when was thinking abt it, i opened my email, n saw a msg. that msg put me into tears, i didn't expect that from someone with that much of Islamic  knowledge, damn! i can't stop crying thinking of it. i'm afraid if this thing affect my future life. my respect twrds tht person flew in e air just like tht!!!

i reflected myself, did i made any mistake tht made that person to ask such question twrds me?? what i've to do now?? i feel like i've done a lot of sins. ya Allah, forgive me for all my sins i've done intentionally or unintentionally.

so, i don't think birthday should be HAPPY for me, it should BEWARE instead!! so, i hope i can get BEWARE BIRTHDAY wishes in my coming years, hahahaha.. n inshaAllah, if i am still alive.


(p/s: special thanks to ; raheela, hidayah muttalib, nadiah sulaiman, shahira, sarah, zawani, izzati, kak ain, nadya sufiya, azreena, diana, kak bi, adilah, hanis rani, kak ji, husna, syuha, naurah, fida, mimah, syuha, asma, ja, kak nad, kak ja, shafinaz, hasna, syahrain, faridah, hidayati)