WORLD IS A TRIP & EVERYBODY IS A HYPOCRITE

I’m ashamed ah, brother be dying of poverty
when he down on his knees its only then he prays 
And it’s a shame ah, brother be dying of ignorance
cos the world is a trip and everybody’s a hypocrite 
Need to stop ah , taking a look at the other
I’m not ashamed of poverty
need to be making his life better
So think about it, think about it once more
cos life is a blessing and it’s not justa show, ah 


(lyrics quoted from one of A.R.Rahman album)

nice, showing how human beings nowadays
> seeking The Almighty only when they are in difficulties.
> being hypocrites, changing e masks each n everyday just for 'eir own benefits.
when i really see this kinda person in my life, i hate 'em n i don't respect 'em regardless of 'eir position n age.
i feel so uncomfortable talking w this kinda of ppl.. how 'ey can b so??? why r all these actings n dramas??? what r they trying to achieve??? if they wanna win e heart of fellow men, but r they gonna secure a place in e hereafter??? 


 i'm starting to think, am i included in these group of people too??? astaghfirullah.. i'm afraid.. i don't want to b one. a'uzubillah... i'm afraid, i'm afraid, i'm afraid

I didn't love it from the beginning

"Find a job which you love then you don't have to work even a day. Once you have a deep love for doing something, it is no more work. It takes gut, conviction and courage to be doing something you want and not be pressured into something you don't love." ~a wise man saying.

also, always Islam taught us

2:195 And spend of your substance in the cause of Allah, and make not your own hands contribute to (your) destruction; but do good; for Allah loveth those who do good.

     

ya Allah, pls don't let me astary. i need YOUR guidance very much now. i knew tht i wsn't totally remembering YOU when i was in my joyful mood, i ws so preoccupied w those worldly thgs. but ya Rabbi, i'm a very weak servant of YOURS. please give me enough strength to face all these.

why?? what is happening to me?? why am i losing my concentration???
 why am i not being like before,- e girl that see thgs critically n always being enthusiastic n competitive, she who wont take thgs for granted n always work hard in doing thgs. she who never knew wht failure is..
mashaAllah, what is happening to me???

                                         i've done it good prior.
ws thinking n thinking what cause e failure, y do i feel that i purposely did it. y did my nervousness didnt show up w any signs, y? y? y? why i took it for granted??? y didn't i thought of e outcome?? y did i let e money to fly in e air just like tht???  y do i laughed when i knew that i failed?? y do i feel sad n stressed but couldn't cry at e same time?? and y did i burst into tears when seeking The Almighty during my salat?? y is all these happening to me?? y?? y?? y??
 no, no, no... i think i found e answer. each n every thg happens has its wisdom. just like newton's third, each action has its reaction, n if we look deeper into it via revelation point of view, it is very true. Allah knows better.
i didn't love it from e very beginning. i always looked at it like a burden n reflected negativity twrds it.
thats e reason for my failure this time....
i don't know whr am i heading w this kinda attitude.
i have to love doing thgs in order to do 'em perfectly.
back to basic concept, ihsan in daily life will lead a success in world n hereafter, inshaAllah

PLEASE DON'T FORCE ME!!!!

 i came across these verses from Holy Quran


"If ye did well, ye did well for yourselves; if ye did evil, (ye did it) against yourselves. "(quote from sura isra', verse 7)



13. Every man's fate We have fastened on his own neck: On the Day of Judgment We shall bring out for him a scroll, which he will see spread open.
14. (It will be said to him:) "Read thine (own) record: Sufficient is thy soul this day to make out an account against thee."
15. Who receiveth guidance, receiveth it for his own benefit: who goeth astray doth so to his own loss: No bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another: nor would We visit with Our Wrath until We had sent an apostle (to give warning).
(sura isra')

 it hits me right onto my heart.
i do not want to do it. at first, when i ws told do it, it didn't make me feel so much guilty as i ws in a conditon surrounded by prblms. but, when thgs back to normal, i strt to think. am i doin e right thg?? n when i justify it to myself, i feel myself is very "despicable" (i know it is a very strong n harsh word, but i don't know how else to say how i feel it). am i myself, or i've turn to someone who is willing to do bad thgs in a desperate condition??? noooo, plsss don't force me to do those thgs against my willing, against my teaching!!! i want to live in an honest way, even if it's not a big deal in e eyes of others.

ya Allah, please guide me, don't let me astray. give me the strength to say NO, give me the strength to hold my stand. n if bad time befalls upon me where i have to do it somehow, please help me to do the best so that i know, i actually deserve to have a *** even w/out doin it.